60-year-old Pennsylvania woman tries to remove her son as co-signer on her mortgage after his lies and poor decisions could cost her the house

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Etai Eshet • Editor
Apr 21, 2026 10:30 AM EDT

Giving your adult child co-signing power over your mortgage is one of those decisions that would have made complete sense if said adult child isn't, let me repeat that, is not a professional, world-leading bad decision maker with a passion for exaggeration

Because then, you end up sixty years old, with a paid-off house sold, a fresh start in a new state, complicated up to your eyebrows because the fresh start comes with a 25-year-old on the deed whose relationship with the truth is, at best, a complicated one.

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  • Woman with glasses on head looking at camera outdoors with dark green foliage background.
    via Jacob Mitani

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  • My son's poor decisions may cause me to lose my house...

    I'm looking for some advice on a difficult situation.
    via khrystah1965
  • I'm 60 years old. My son is 25, and my youngest child (daughter) is 17. I recently sold my home for $270K, free and
    via khrystah1965
  • Pennsylvania to be closer to my son after he was accepted to George Washington University in DC. Which he since
    via khrystah1965
  • dropped out of but insists he got permission to take a semester off while training (letters have come to house indicating he is no longer enrolled).
    via khrystah1965
  • After paying off some bills and covering moving expenses, I needed to take out a $75K loan for the new house. Due to my
    via khrystah1965
  • credit (divorce and dis lity), my son co- signed. At the time, it felt like a practical decision given my age—especially
    via khrystah1965
  • since he would eventually inherit part of the home anyway. He is on the deed as well.
    via khrystah1965
  • Woman in sunset light outdoors with windblown hair, looking at camera with a contemplative expression.
    via Lexi M

    Woman outdoors in warm sunset light, looking at the camera with wind in her hair and a contemplative expression.

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  • Since then, things have taken a turn. He got a government job but was removed from training just three weeks before graduating. He hasn't
    via khrystah1965
  • been honest with me about what happened, and he's now spending money recklessly-over
    via khrystah1965
  • $8,700 in just April—on a new relationship he started during training.
    via khrystah1965
  • He has a history of exaggerating or fabricating things to impress people, and I'm concerned this behavior is escalating. I've
    via khrystah1965

  • The fake companies on the resume is the kind of detail that reframes everything that came before it. Dropping out of a university while telling his mother he has permission to take a semester off is annoying. Getting removed from a government training program three weeks before graduating and refusing to explain why is concerning. But sitting down and inventing fictional employers to put on a resume is a different category of behavior entirely, because that is not impulsivity or poor judgment, that is a practiced and deliberate construction of a version of reality that serves him better than the actual one.

  • even caught him creating fake companies for resumes in the past. My biggest fear is that, if he runs out of money, he could make poor or even illegal decisions to
    via khrystah1965
  • maintain this lifestyle. His biological father served time for mail fraud, which adds to my concern.
    via khrystah1965

  • Now add nine thousand dollars spent in a single month on a new relationship, a history of escalating financial recklessness, and a biological father who did federal time for fraud, and the picture becomes uncomfortably clear. None of that is destiny, people are not their parents, but it does provide useful context for what happens when someone with flexible ethics runs out of money and needs to maintain a lifestyle that no longer matches their income.

  • Because he co-signed on my loan, I'm worried about potential legal or financial risk to my home if something were to happen.
    via khrystah1965
  • Is there a way to legally protect myself and my property in this situation? For example:
    via khrystah1965
  • Can I have him sign something stating the house is solely mine?
    via khrystah1965

  • The cruelty of this situation is that she cannot simply remove him from the loan because her credit will not allow it, which means she is legally tethered to someone whose decision-making she has every reason to distrust. He is on the deed, he is on the mortgage, and he is currently in a spending spiral while lying about his employment status. The house that was supposed to represent stability has his name on it, and he earned that spot by being her son, not by being reliable.

  • Can I clarify that he has no financial investment in the property and does not live here?
    via khrystah1965
  • Is there a way to structure things so he is only a beneficiary, not an owner?
    via khrystah1965
  • Would a power of attorney or similar document help?
    via khrystah1965

  • A real estate attorney is not an overreaction at this point, it is just reading the room before the room gets taken away.

  • I'm not in a position to refinance or remove him from the loan right now due to my credit, so I'm trying to understand what options I may have to protect myself moving forward.
    via khrystah1965
  • Any guidance would be greatly appreciated.
    via khrystah1965
  • Shopstumblergurl Have him sign a quit claim deed signing his portion of the deed back over to you.
    via khrystah1965
  • ptulinski If he's on the deed and signs a quitclaim, then declares bankruptcy, the quitclaim may be voided by the bankruptcy court. You need real legal advice.
    via khrystah1965
  • Guilty-Committee9622 Make sure he is not on the deed. Being on the mortgage is fine as long as youre paying it. But if hes on the deed and declares bankruptcy your home is an asset. Get him off the deed asap
    via khrystah1965
  • Miamiconnectionexo honestly at 60 with a 17 year old still at home your priority has to be protecting that housing money first. consult a real estate attorney before
    via khrystah1965
  • putting your son on anything and consider keeping the purchase solely in your name so his decisions cant touch your equity.
    via khrystah1965

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house parenting mortgage retirement mom adult children son
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